Tag Archives: thursday

Chatting.

marchgrayPain and anxiety have not been great lately (which is no surprise since those two things tend to affect one another). I’m back to the extremely healthy routine of food as medicine (Day 2 to be exact) and trying to ride my bike as often as possible–still indoors (but too little or too much exercise can exacerbate my condition).

There is so much I wish I could tell you about…when it comes to where I have been and why and where all this anxiety is coming from. How lame is it to mention it and then not tell you about it? But I can’t just be free and lah-di-dah either so…I have to do the annoying allusion thing. I’m sorry.I am learning that I take a lot of things on, things that don’t necessarily need to be taken on. So when there is something I need to focus on, I don’t have the room in my head or my heart. The important things actually fall through the cracks. It’s not a recipe for success.

I am learning that I take a lot of things on, things that don’t necessarily need to be taken on. So when there is something I need to focus on, I don’t have the room in my head or my heart. The important things actually fall through the cracks. It’s not a recipe for success.

I have to have a tough conversation with someone and last night I dreamt it happened. She was so understanding and helpful and it was so real and I woke up so relieved as if it really happened. It made me realize how much I have let this little thing grow into a big thing because I am unsure how to handle the situation. The dream proved the situation needs to be handled and I can only hope she will be as gracious as she was in the dream because my speech is…humbling to say the least (another word may be humiliating).

I’m learning a lot about failure and grace. I can share soon.

As always, I have to focus on putting myself out there–socially and in my career. I need to let the other stuff go and just do it. Like Nike, you feel me?

Talk to me. I have missed you.
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Blogging Burnout and Writer’s Block: This is Not a Tutorial.

blogburnoutIs it gone? All that inspiration and creativity? Has it been sucked out of you for whatever reason? Maybe you should make a pro-con list like Rory Gilmore. Maybe you should just quit. Maybe this, maybe that. Maybe who knows what.

Coming from a writing background, studying it in school, some really smart people say that Writer’s Block exists and some other smart people don’t believe in it. I do know that creativity ebbs and flows. I do know that sometimes taking a break is good.

Blogging Burnout is a bit different than Writer’s Block. Some people start a blog just for fun and it stops being fun. No judgement here. Some people love fashion or cooking and the blogging comes from there. There’s so many different ways to come at this blogging thing so this may not apply to you at all. But if you happen to be a writer and blogger…

Here’s the thing I know about Writer’s Block. Keep writing. Push through. We all need breaks and breaks can be good. But don’t stop. The more you create, the more creative you feel. It ebbs and it flows and if you can accept it and play in the sea anyway, then do it. Sometimes you’re frolicking around in the surf. Sometimes you’re being pulled out by a riptide. Sometimes you can’t find a shell in the sand to save your life.

Just do it. If writing is a calling for you, then keep going. Take care of yourself but keep going. Because if writing is a calling, then stopping because of Writer’s Block? Waiting for a lightening bolt of inspiration to suddenly strike you? That feels no better than being blocked. Sometimes we have to search out that inspiration; sometimes it comes to us divinely like a message in a bottle. It cannot always be predicted. But just like we cannot predict sickness, we can eat healthy and take care  of ourselves to avoid it. So surround yourself with things and people inspiring to you. Keep a journal. Take photographs. Do something creative just for fun. Anything.

nonnalina2

Please know I am reminding myself of this right now as well. Sometimes, it is just not possible to push through for any number of reasons and I empathize with that. I’ve gone through some tough seasons with my family…where I lost the words. Usually though, for me personally, I can only say that I am a better human when I am writing so if I am not writing here not her, I better be writing somewhere else. That is just me though.

I took a few days off this past week in that I did not write here ever day but more like every few days. Because I am very upfront, I will say I have been battling Blogging Burnout a bit. I’ve talked to others and I don’t think I am alone.

I can only speak for myself here though. It’s a combination of a lot of things: difficulties in real life but also just feeling like this blogging thing, this blogging world? Well, I’ve been feeling a little closed in by it.

For example, I collect books and I love to read. Good writing inspires good writing. Lately, I’ve felt that the blog world has been very recycled lately. This is not a dig. Does anyone feel the same? I feel like I need my blogging shelves filled with great bloggers who are also searching for creativity. But I can’t control my Bloglovin’ feed and what people post so I’ll go into the world in search of new inspiration.

In the meantime, when it comes to Blogging Burnout and Writer’s Block, I’ll be here, playing and working in the surf, riding the wave and always looking for next one.bloggingburnoutpin

Have you ever had Writer’s Block or Blogging Burnout? What are your thoughts on it?
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Let it Go | Awareness of my Anxiety.

It’s not a song. It’s a list.

Things I am letting go of:
-perfection for this DIY project
-everything in the non-urgent, non-important category (for now)
-cut down the number of books I’m reading to 3 (10 is just too much)
-the over organization (my zeal for this change to an organized life has me focused on the minutia instead of the overall organization of my life in general)
-the lists (there is no need for the same list, multiple times, in my bullet journal, and in various places on my computer and online)
-this list because I could go on and on

Here is the thing. Throughout my life, when my anxiety is higher, I find small things to focus on–like a chimp picking fleas from her baby’s head. That truly would be the perfect task for moments like this. And also, throughout my life, these small tasks have ranged from healthy to the not so healthy.

globeI’ve realized something so important when it comes to the awareness of my anxiety. When the world feels big and out of control, I do what I can to make it feel small.

I can gauge my anxiety which stems from fear and lack of control by the extent of these tiny obsessions. How long did I work to make straight lines on an upcoming DIY project? So long that it was a wakeup call and that was with painter’s tape. It’s not always like this. It’s actually been awhile since it has been like this. It’s hard to know when I am just battling perfectionism (which still should be battled) and anxiety.

Finding the root is the key but it’s easier said than done. I have to find activities after work that are soothing, like coloring (kind of dumb but I channel it into sending snail mail…) or journaling or writing. Since I work from home freelancing, I have to get out of my little world (when not working or taking my work to a coffee shop) and make my world big again.

IMG_4558_1024No idea where I found that picture of me but I’m letting it go.
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