Around the internet and also in real life, there always seems to be this chatter–a grass is greener mentality. As humans, this grass is greener mentality isn’t new but it keeps coming back to singleness vs. marriage. I hate that I even have to write the word versus between the two of those things.
Basically, I have heard and read some version of this again and again:
“Isn’t life so much better with a husband?”
In my opinion, it’s a way of thinking that needs to be addressed.
But before I do that, I need to tell you my heart behind this. It is not to call anyone out. It is to bring this sisterhood of blogging (so amazing!) even closer together. I read blogs written by women who are married without children and married with children (and those things should be celebrated). I also read blogs, like mine, where the blogger is single (and those bloggers should be celebrated and supported too). My heart behind this post is to encourage all of us…because “we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, ESV).
I don’t blame people who speak or write the way which inspired this post. Instead, I want to point out something I mentioned awhile ago (The Truth About Adventures). One of my tips is: never belittle a coadventurer.
I was able to go to San Francisco and learn so much about myself and the world and the Lord. Meanwhile, my friend mothered three children and I guarantee she learned so much about herself, the world, and the Lord as well.
Is her adventure less than mine? No. Is it more? No.
We are all on unique and crazy adventures. Would my current adventure be better with a husband? No.
The only ring I currently wear is from my grandparents.
Because God has a plan. He is sovereign. And I’m not married right now. Do I want to be married? Yes. I really do. But let me just tell you, if I believed the lie: life is better with a husband, I would be making an idol of marriage. Not only that but how would I be able to enjoy where God has me now? How could I enjoy this adventure?
I choose to believe that God’s best for me is in this moment. I choose to believe that on this very day, today, I am not missing out and God is not holding out on me. I choose to believe that God wants the best for me, always.
Of course I long to meet the man God has for me. But for now, it does no good and it would be wrong to think life will be better when I have a husband. Having a husband doesn’t protect against tragedy or hardship. And can I just tell you, from what I’ve been told, even when you are married to your best friend, marriage is hard. It is worthy work but it is hard work.
Right now, I am single. And my life is not worse or less because of it.
In my experience, any statement that includes words like life is better with/when blank leads to trouble. Life is better with Jesus. Period. That has to be our standard. Or we are doomed to disappointment and heartache and eventual emptiness.
And I’ll still read the love/wedding stories on the blogs I love because I love those bloggers and I love their stories. My singleness is not something to be defensive over. I like reading stories about all kinds of women in all kinds of stages of life because it all comes back to this: we are all on our own adventures and we should never belittle a coadventurer or her adventure itself. I love reading how God is at work in everyone’s life–married or single. And when God is at work, no one gets the worse or the better end of the stick.
Thoughts? I’m seriously interested.
P.S. Don’t forget the raffle!! It’s called The Fullness of Joy Giveaway. How apt for this post. Let’s live in the fullness of joy where we are now.