Tag Archives: October

A Letter.

Dear Girl who Loves that Boy,

I won’t tell you that you don’t love him and I won’t tell you that he doesn’t love you. No one sane falls in love with a monster hidden under a bed or behind a closet. Girls dream of falling in love with tall drinks of water, with mouths that quirk and smile, with hands wide of palm, and fingers that hang from belt loops. He took you to the movies or to a school dance and when your hands touched, butterflies took off in your stomach like geese headed south for the winter and you knew, you knew you were made to feel this feeling, his hand on the small of your back, your face pressed to the softness of his shirt. He smells like everything good you’ve ever known.

You love him.

A tumble and a fall, and before you know it, his eyes are the first you think of in the morning. The tip of your tongue is always ready for his name. You still believe you can be anything, do anything; you read Maya Angelou’s “Still I Rise” and you applaud in your mind, your dad hugs you and your mom kisses you, and you are the farthest thing from a statistic. They still tuck you in at night. You are no ordinary girl and he is no ordinary boy.

You love him.

Maybe it goes like this. Maybe these are the words to you song. It starts with pinches beneath the table on your thigh, telling you to be quiet. Once there is an argument and he raises his voice. The next time he’s in your face and for the first time you don’t recognize him and later, when you tell yourself the story, you don’t recognize yourself. “What?” your friends say but their voices come through water, as if they are lost beneath the sea. “What? What did he do?” But they don’t understand, do they? They don’t know the way he can cry into the curve of your shoulder, the way his sorrow splits you wide open.

You love him.

And he loves you, even when he is yelling, when he takes you by the arms and slams you against the door, and even though your fingers skitter away from the lump on the back of your head, you know he loves you. His sorries are lullabies; he’s the cowboy tipping his hat, murmuring, “I’m sorry, miss,” from the side of his mouth; somewhere a coyote croons to the moon and you realize it’s you.

Still, you love him.

There is nothing I can say to keep you from loving him. You cannot corral those feelings. They are strong. They will fight to live. If you walk away, because no one should feel this way, I can’t promise that your love for him evaporates like ice water on a hot day. It will hurt, like pulling glue from your skin. Because you love him. Anyone who tells you that loving him isn’t real doesn’t understand. You love him.

But it’s time to love yourself more. Leaving will hurt like your skin is being torn from muscle and bone. But that pain is the beginning of something better.

The pain that comes with his rage and his slaps breeds nothing but sadness, a bottomless pit of it, to wallow in. If you are lucky, he will leave you and you will cry until one day, you wake up and you realize, this is a beginning for you, an escape hatch. Or maybe you will have to be the one to walk away. Maybe you will feel the ache and pain but you won’t be headed for a dead end anymore. You were born for more.

You know that. Deep down, you know that even more intensely than you love him.

You were made to be cherished and loved. No one should be pinched beneath the table. No one should feel a lump on the back of her head. And I know you love him fiercely and walking away might be the hardest thing you ever do, but you have to do it. You have to. Don’t let anyone tell you it will be easy; it won’t be. But in six months, one year, two, you will be healing. You will be a new girl, stronger, built for things you cannot imagine. Good things. Happy things.

You won’t love him anymore. You will pity him. That’s all he gets from you now.

Instead, you’ll love yourself.

The story you live now is not for you. Exit stage left.

You were meant for more.






Disclaimer: I am fully aware that there are all types of Domestic Violence situations that cross boundaries of gender, age, and class. This issue is close to my heart and this was the letter I chose to write, to the girl who loves that boy. There are millions of other letters that could be written. If you or someone you know, needs help please go here. If you want to give, please go here. And I promise this blog won’t be highlighting every cause in the entire world but Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence happen to be the two closest to my heart.

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Credit Cards and Cleavage: Products for a Cause

Whenever something is going seemingly wrong, my nonna can be counted on to say, “It’s not cancer.” When you put things in that perspective, it’s a lot easier to swallow a dent in your car door or even a chronic illness that doesn’t have the ability to kill you. For a long time, I thought Nonna’s response was unique but it turns out it may be an Italian thing. I met another “nonna” who said the same exact thing in her musically accented voice.

My aunt is a breast cancer survivor and I could not be more proud of her quiet and enduring strength. I still remember sitting with my aunt and my dad (brother and sister) when we told Nonna (their mother) the news. She opened her mouth to whisper her normal response: “At least it’s not cancer,” but she couldn’t. Because what do you say when the bad news is cancer? I think we all held hands until our bones rubbed together, all trying not to cry. That was years ago. Now, my family has another fight on their hands. Suffice to say, we hate cancer. Hate. It.

The good news is that in recent years other people started hating cancer too. It’s taken way too many people we love from us. Now, little old you and me can do our part in helping breast cancer research because in the month of October, some great companies have specific products where some or all of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. And the cool part? Breast cancer research is doing amazing things that is already affecting people from Angelina Jolie to normal folks within my own family (more on that later this month).

Buying something seems like a small thing. But if you have to buy someone a gift, why not have that money go somewhere good? If you are treating yourself this month, why not treat yourself with money that will go somewhere positive? Christmas is not that far away (I know, I know).

There are a lot of products out there. I made a long list of the ones I liked and then I went through and cut anything where the money did not go directly to the charity or I could not find specific information. If the item was just for awareness, I didn’t want to post it. Also, some products were out of stock or only available in the UK (bummer because one was really cool). I want to know that when I buy one of these things, the money is going to a breast cancer charity with certainty. If you have some other ideas, please comment and let me know and I would be happy to post about them. (Btw, no company asked me to do this.)

Screen shot 2013-10-12 at 11.30.01 AMThe set costs $15.95 and O.P.I. will be donating $25,000 to the Susan G. Komen Foundation and $5,000 to Rethink Breast Cancer. You can find it all over the place right now or here.

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I was excited to hear that Tocca is also involved this month. I tried this brand because a) it smelled good b) the hand cream I bought was something I could actually afford at Anthropologie c) it’s an italian brand. Tocca means touch. They are donating 15% of net proceeds of the Delicato da Viaggio set ($22) to Bright Pink, the only national non-profit organization focusing on the prevention and early detection of breast and ovarian cancer in young women. I haven’t used this specific Tocca product before but I am buying it. Supposedly, it is perfect for lingerie, silks, cashmere, and bed linens. If it’s anything like the hand cream, it will be so luxurious. Buy it here.

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This Movado watch is pricey but it’s hot (!) and for a good cause (!!!) It’s also special to me because my aunt loves watches. A Christmas gift, perhaps? She’ll have to wait and see.

This is the Movado Bold Large TR90 & Swarovski Crystal-Encrusted Watch ($450) available at Lord & Taylor. $50 from every watch purchase goes to The Breast Cancer Research Fund.

I like the fun details too–the ribbon logo is engraved on both the case and the back of the watch. Swarovski pink crystals make a statement against the black.

What’s not to like?


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Coach has many items to choose from and any one of them can be bought for the cause with 20% of the price going to The Breast Cancer Research Fund.

This watch and other great finds are located here, at Coach for a Cause.

You can find tons of great stuff including key chains, purses, scarves, perfume, and more.

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You know how everyone does an impression of Oprah screaming, “And you get a car! You get a car! You get a car! And you get a car!”?

Well, consider me Oprah when it comes to Philosophy’s Shower for the Cure because 100% of the proceeds go to Breast Cancer Research. Buy it here! ($20)

Screen shot 2013-10-12 at 11.57.05 AMSo let’s take lots and lots and lots of showers.

Shower Gel for everyone! And you! And you! And you!


Alex and Ani has been a favorite of mine since I moved to SF and found the boutique. Then it blew up everywhere. My mom and I actually wear matching bracelets with my aunt. But this specific bracelet is special because for the year they sell it, Alex and Ani will donate 20% of the proceeds and a minimum of $20,000 to The Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Resource Foundation. The bangles are adjustable, made in the USA out of recycled brass, and come in gold and silver.

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Bobbi Brown makes quality makeup so I was excited to see the Bobbi Brown French Pink Set Embossed French Pink Blush & Mini Face Blender Brush. I love the embossed ribbon and that brush is just darling. Costing you $45, $10 goes to The Breast Cancer Research Fund. You can find it at any Bobbi Brown counter or here.


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Everyone needs hairspray. I’m sure Chelsea and my friend, Lis, would both tell me that I could use more hairspray for my frizzies. So if we need it, why not buy it with purpose? Buy Bumble and Bumble, Spray de Mode Hairspray ($27). When you get it, $5 goes to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Buy it here.

Hairspray for you!

And you!




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Aveda Hand Cream, Limited Edition, ($23) is excellent for anyone and everyone. Do you type all day? It takes a toll on my hands, I know. Do you just like to have soft hands throughout winter? Hand cream for you! $4 from every purchase goes to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Find it here.


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I really like Bare Mineral’s Moxie line of lipgloss on its own for light color and plumpness.

This is Marvelous Moxie in Survivor. It will cost you $18 and a percentage goes towards a $25,000 donation to The Keep A Breast Foundation.

Find it here.




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My gym shoes are Asics and I love them, although they are a couple of years old and if I were to get a new pair, I would want it to be these, for the cause. Asics GT-1000 PR are $100 with two dollars of every sale going to Christina Applegate’s Breast Cancer foundation. For quality gym shoes that last, it’s a good deal you can find here.


Screen shot 2013-10-12 at 8.40.12 PMTwo Christmases ago, someone got me a Fitbit and I loved it. It definitely helped me lose weight and be held accountable. Maybe this will go on my Christmas list now? I’ll just have to ask someone to get it now because it’s october, people, and we’re buying with a cause in mind. The Fitbit Flex tracks your steps, your calories, your distance, and your sleep. This wristband also wakes you silently. This one is $99.95 and $10 goes to the American Cancer Society.


You can find the pink Fitbit Flex here, along with other colors.


Here are the facts. The chance that Breast Cancer will be responsible for a woman’s death are about 1 in 36 in the US. In 2013 in this country, close to 40,000 women will die of breast cancer. But the good news is that more women than ever are surviving the disease. Right now, there are 2.8 million Breast Cancer Survivors living in the United States. This number has been increasing BECAUSE of research. So let’s support it! (source)

If you know of other products, please let me know in the comments or if you have plans to buy anything I’ve listed. I’m considering, just maybe, doing a contest for one of the items. We’ll see. 😉

So, where’s your wallet?


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