This is a post that I have meaning to write for the last two and a half plus years of blogging but just never got to it. Now, invites are going out for my high school ten-year reunion and I found extra senior year photos when I was moving (so if you want one, let me know…ha!) so I just think, now must be the time to write this thing.
When we had to pick our quote, I did not yet know what it meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus. I believed in God and everything I was taught in Sunday school. It was important to me and always had been. When the time came to pick my quote, my faith was actually more important to me than ever before. I had just come out of a very dark time after my parent’s divorce and it was God who saved me quite literally (another story for another time). Still, I just had never seen someone’s day to day walk modeled to me.
Coming out of a time of hardship would influence my choice. But I also wanted something no one else would use. This quote by Winston Churchill fit the bill as I had never seen it before and as I read it, I realized that it reflected my beliefs. And though if I had to pick a quote now, it probably would be a Bible verse, I can’t help but see the theme of grace I was already learning for the first time in this Churchill quotation.
Before that dark time in my life, it would have been very difficult to wake up every day knowing I would “make all kind of mistakes.” But the year before the bottom had dropped out from under me and I hadn’t handled it well at all. I made lots of mistakes. And God had been so faithful to me. He showed me his generosity, truth, and his ferocity in loving me. I would not have been able to give you a definition of grace at this point (unmerited favor) but when I read it now, that’s what I see.
I was already swallowing as much of His grace as I could, learning as I went along. To this day, I still believe this quote. I will make all kinds of mistakes. But he will be there. And I cannot hurt the world because God is sovereign and in control.
I’ve been going through a rough time lately, though nowhere as difficult as the time I mention here. It’s been a hard year so far, one hit after another, starting with one huge mistake, and it’s only March. But writing about this time in my life, writing about this quote, reminds me of the light at the end of the tunnel that always comes eventually, fighting off the dark. It gives me hope and reaffirms my faith.
And I don’t think it is any coincidence that after listing this as a topic to write about on my blog for over two years, I am writing about it now.
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