There are lots of things I’d love to write about: how I had this huge realization about heartbreak via Adele (not a recent heartbreak, just heartbreak in general), kindness and apologies, info on the Candida Diet (Diet is a misleading word…It’s a way of eating if you have a chronic condition that helps with pain management…I have done it before and I am doing it again and maybe it could help someone else?), some current events stuff (but also like, I am fine with giving my 140 character thoughts on this on Twitter), some healthy recipes I created out of necessity, writing tools that have been so helpful to me, ghostwriting life, how I learned to finally relax (kind of),and other stuff too but I mean this list is long enough and general enough to be annoying.
God’s been teaching me a lot lately but I have to say, the way he is teaching me is a bit excruciating. The biggest thing? I’m learning how to depend on my every need but apparently, in order to learn this, I had to wait for the IRS to pay me my refund (I’m still waiting) and have finances be incredibly tight. I have no problem admitting that even though I have been doing the Freelance life for over a year, I am still trying to figure out balancing my clients with my pricing and the hours I put in. My bank account is…Let’s just say, every time I look at it, I have to pray. I could probably expand on it but I want to be careful in how I talk about it.
A lot of my clients are small businesses and because the way I grew up, I have such a heart for them and want to give them the best deal. So I am still figuring that out. I have also always had a bit of a cushion–savings–and I went through it to start the business and so this is the first time where every month, I think: I don’t know how this is going to happen. If a client’s check is late, what will happen? And then I pray again. I understand there are worse problems (my nonna would say, “It’s not cancer” and she would be right). But it’s teaching me a lot, albeit painfully.
(I have to note I’m also in a legal battle to actually get payment from a settlement from a former employer. It was a class action lawsuit and the lawyers are withholding the money that was already awarded. I think that is as many details as I can give. I honestly don’t know which way it will go. Let’s just say I’m not counting on that money).
Guys, I know one thing I haven’t told you that I’ve been doing: online dating! I haven’t told you not out of embarrassment (I only say this because even last year it would have been embarrassing) but out of respect for the other people involved. Still figuring out what I can tell you because let me just say, there are things I do want to tell you. But respect. And back to kindness. You’ll never regret kindness.
I don’t know if this was at all interesting. Give me some time. Dipping my toe in…
P.S. If you feel so inclined, pray for Italy. And maybe I will get some crap for this because there is so much going on in the world and I don’t ask for prayers for everything (Trust me, I do follow it all and pray on my own). I was genuinely worried for my family (got word they are all good). If you want to be specific, pray for the region of Umbria. Half of my heart is always in Italy so…