Search Results for: the truth about adventures

New Beginnings: The Truth About Adventures

June 19, 2014 -

On the first day of kindergarten, I repeated my teacher’s name about a million times for my parents before they walked me to the bus stop. (I’m still convinced those letters have no business forming a name, let alone sitting right next to each other.) The point is, on the first day of kindergarten, I was terrified to get the whole thing wrong–and not just my teacher’s name.

New beginnings are inherent to life–as is change–and so fearing those things can drive a person crazy. New beginnings can be a bit like putting a wet bathing suit on. It fits. And you are raring to get back into the sun and water but those first ten seconds of wearing it aren’t comfortable. As I started this new job, I was not afraid. But there are nerves. I am calmed by the belief that this is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing. That is a sweet place to be.

The past two years have been filled to the brim with transitions, changes, beginnings, and even endings. I’ve learned those are all the things that make up an adventure. I’ve been asked to step out in faith, into adventure, time and again, trusting His plan for me. And each time I’ve lifted my feet and moved one foot in front of the other, I’ve been so thankful.

I’ve never regretted it.

I love the first page of a new notebook–blank and fresh. But sometimes new beginnings aren’t as easy a new moleskine. Sometimes you are moving (across the country) (twice). Sometimes you are a starting a new job in a new again city.

There are nerves and excitement and when there is fear I have to let it go, like a whoosh of breath. The thing is that the past two years have been all about leaps and risks. Is that life or is it something in me changing? Sometimes I think: oh, I must be immune to that pit of nervousness in my stomach.

But hey. Guess what? I’m not.

And I don’t really want to be.

Because the truth about (new) adventures and new beginnings is that they are opportunities to grow and learn–about yourself, about the world, about God. I don’t want to ever stop walking out in faith. I don’t want to play it safe and I certainly don’t want to settle.

But wanting this and living it are two different things. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m nervous to meet new people and colleagues (and I’m a people person!). I’m nervously eager to do a quality job in this blessing I’ve been given. My brain is the opposite of GPS so I am anxious to relearn Chicago (since I’ve forgotten what little I “knew”).

Nerves and faith are not exclusive. I trust God with this new beginning but I’m a little nervous.

But fear. Fear is different. Fear clutches you and hold you back. Fear is unbelief. Fear is saying no to adventure. Fear and faith oppose one another.

How do you handle new beginnings, friends?

The Truth About Adventures

February 13, 2014 -

image source

While I did pack a suitcase for a job interview across the country in a city where I knew exactly zero people and while I got that job, found a sublease, and started, living out of a suitcase within a week, I want to be honest.

Whenever people hear about the last year and a half of my life, they act like I did something either insane or miraculous. Mine is not a family that leaves one another. For most of my life, everyone I loved was within easy driving distance. So to leave was a big decision and risk. “You’re so brave! I could never do that,” people say to me.

Here’s the truth: I am not that brave; I just didn’t have time to think it through.

Honestly.

Sometimes you leap. A lot of adventures start that way. I leapt.

I had time to pack and get on a flight. That’s it. Once I got there, I had time to do the interview. Once I got the job, I had time to find a sublease. Once, I found a sublease, it was time to start work. And on it went. Basic needs met. In a way, my life became completely simplified. After signing my own lease, I needed a bed because…well, that’s what I needed. So that was my priority I couldn’t think about sheets because I didn’t have a mattress! I don’t really consider it bravery so much as the Big Guy not giving me any time to hyperventilate.

That being said, I want to tell you the truth about some adventures. There will be moments that stop your heart in your chest because of their stunning beauty. There will be moments you know you will hold in your head for the rest of your life, so sacred you rarely speak of them. But adventures are not easy things. Inherently, adventures include difficulties, right?

Here is the truth about life’s adventures. At least in my own experience thus far.

1. There will be moments when you want to cry. There will be moments when you want to curl up in a tiny ball and wait for someone with loving arms to take care of everything that needs to be taken care of. But you are on adventure. If someone does take care of you, he or she certainly won’t take care of everything. That person will not be someone you expect or are used to. It takes humility to accept help from this stranger. They didn’t give birth to you. Or maybe no one shows up. You have to pick yourself up and figure it out. And sometimes, just to be frank, that really sucks.

2. You can’t leave everything or everyone behind. The fact is, you lived a life before this adventure, this season of your life, and even if you wanted to erase everything and everyone from before, you couldn’t. They have impacted you for better or for worse. Now, you get to decide what to do with that. I am not advising you to carry emotional (or physical, to be honest) baggage wherever you go. But in my experience, if you think location will help you escape a problem, it’s actually an even bigger problem than you realize. Secondly, memories, both good and bad, are a part of me. Even in this new city, they come back to me. Some things I wish I could forget. But if Cher could not turn back time, I can’t either. I can move forward though. And it’s good and healthy and right.

3. There are Pros to life pre-adventure. It’s just a fact. I promised myself that I would not be the girl who came home to Chicago that first time and said, “Well, in San Francisco we do this and San Francisco is so much better than here because…” (I mostly succeeded but the first time I came home was winter and I know I made some cracks about the weather). But on the flip side, there are things about mundane suburbia, I sure do miss. I won’t lie to you about it. Some days, I really long for a bag of chips and some Whole Foods guacamole and mango salsa, but then I remember I have to take a cab over to Whole Foods. Or I realize I have no clean clothes. None. And I remember I don’t live in a house with a washer and dryer just ready (and free!) for my own use. (To think of all the times I complained about doing laundry; I didn’t know how good I had it.) (Also, yes, I have bought new undies just so I could get through one more week without doing the wash.) This doesn’t mean don’t go on adventures but it isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time. Life is not like that. There are pros and cons to any life situation. For me, it’s actually, upon reflection, helped me appreciate a life, I didn’t value while I was living it. As I go forward, I want to value the season of life I am in, even if it is hard, because there is always pros and cons to any situation.

4. There are all types of adventures. Never belittle a fellow adventurer. Or yourself. I’m not married and I don’t have kids. Do i want those things? Yes. But in God’s perfect timing, if I had them at 24, I would never have fallen in love with the city of San Francisco. Still, I have friends that are married with kids. I don’t think they are “tied down” and I am “free.” I truly believe, after this last year and a half, that there are all types of adventures. Some work out and some don’t. Sometimes life’s circumstances actually make it easier or harder for a particular adventure to take place. But you know what mom said: until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes, no judgement. Honestly, I think motherhood will someday be a great adventure. Some of my friends already are on that adventure. And I am sure some of them (well, I am sure since they told me) love their kids but wish they had one last, stellar, solo adventure for the record books, to get to know themselves better. But we are co-adventurers. Get it? Got it? Good.

5. Homesickness is real thing. I’ve always been extremely independent. I don’t think it surprised people who knew me that I could leave. It’s strange though. I miss family and friends in waves. Sometimes it is particularly poignant. And other times, I don’t really think about it. But I have to leave you with this. Right now, my little sister, with over twenty years and a country between us, is obsessed with the Wizard of Oz. Obsessed.

Dorothy got to go on this amazing adventure with some great shoes (and her little dog, too!). She encountered people and things she never expected. She was pushed beyond what she thought herself capable. But at the end of the adventure, she still says, “There is no place like home.”

: image source

For some people, home is not a place. It is a voice on the telephone. It is loopy cursive on snail mail. It’s a funny text message. But upon adventuring, know that there are people and places that forged you, that understand you in ways that are impossible to explain. Some connections go so far back they are nearly magical.

So yes, by all means, be adventurers! I just want to be honest about mine.

XO,

The Truth about Adventures: soooo…I need a bed.

December 12, 2013 -

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Previous posts about the Truth about Adventures (or at least mine) so you can catch up.

One (brief background)

The Truth About Adventures in Oz

The Legacy of Adventures

How to Run a Marathon.

Moving my babies to SF.

How to Move Across the Country.

Mortification.

Slowly but surely, I am trying to take you back in time through the process of moving because it was blog worthy, trust me. And that’s part of the adventure this blog is about. So yes, today, circle around, my friends, to hear a little story, I like to call: “I need a Bed.”

From the call offering me an interview in San Francisco to my plane taking off, we (because let’s face it, I could not have done this without either of my parents but at this point, when it comes to packing, I could not have done it without my mom) had 48 hours to pack. My mom, oh wise one, decided we should pack one large suitcase and then put into piles what she would send and when, if I got the job and decided to stay.

This felt real. If I had time, I would have been freaking out but every time I tried to freak out, my mom said, “We don’t have time for this.” She was right. So I didn’t get to freak out.

Meanwhile, I ran between my Dad’s house and my mom’s house trying to get the things I needed. At one point, my stepmom stopped me. I looked at her with crazy eyes, so frazzled and trying to find everything I needed. She decided that this was an ideal moment to say something brief, but serious. I will have to paraphrase but I believe I am pretty close to what she said. She was also completely genuine.

“Nina, I am just so glad this is happening so quickly for you so you don’t even have time to think it through.”

Say what?

I just nodded, as if I understood what she was saying, because hello, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep for the next two days with all the stuff I had to do.

“It’s just so perfect. God knows you so well. Because it’s happening so quickly, you don’t have time to analyze it, or think too deeply about it.”

What are you saying to me????

With no time to analyze these insane musings of an otherwise normal stepmom, because ain’t nobody got time for that, I peaced out.

***

I fly to San Francisco.

I spend the week with a boy I knew from high school where I clean their bathroom with bleach so I can use it. (I don’t want to get into it and you don’t want me to either.) I need a place by Sunday. So I go on the internet, find a sublease. On Monday, works starts, so on Monday I go to work.

And on, and on, and on it goes.

Each day, there is a very clear immediate need and all I can focus on is that next step, nothing else.

Of course, I didn’t really see this at the time. Probably because I’ve never acted like this in my life. If there is something to worry about, I will find something to worry about. Everyone who knows me personally is nodding their heads together now.

It comes to the point in the summer, where I decide to stay, and need an apartment. So I find an apartment.

directly from Instagram…71 weeks ago…Crazy. Follow me here.

This should overwhelm me, especially me of all people, but I need a place to live. What am I going to do? Not look for an apartment because it can be stressful? Insert the rising prices in SF (beating Manhattan in rent, wah hooooo) but now I’m the one solely responsible for an apartment, I could freak out. (Okay so in all truthfulness, I did call my dad crying because prices were so high there was literallly NONE in my budget, even in the bad parts of town but, he had the same, you-need-a-bed attitude. “You have to raise your budget and figure it out, Neen.” 5 points for dads!) After said phone call and taking in the high rents and this great responsibility, I sign the papers. I now sell my soul every month for a studio apartment. But do I have time to freak out? Nope. You know what? I cannot worry about those things. Because I needed, how do you say, a freaking bed to sleep on?

So that’s what I do next.

I buy a bed. I pay some kid with a pick up truck to take me across the bridge to Ikea to pick up my 89 dollar bed that would have cost double to ship and I coordinate the mattress delivery. (Please scroll up and look at that picture though. That’s a pretty nice 89 dollar bed!)

Normally, I would freak out. So many things could go wrong. But what am I supposed to do?

I need a bed.

Ironically, that day at work someone realizes I moved across the country. “How are you doing this job and dealing with all of that?”

I just look at them and say, “I can’t worry about all the extra things. Today, I need to do my job. And I need a bed..”

It then hit me that my stepmom was not crazy at all. (Yay, Karen!) She knew me very well. If I had three months to mull over what it would have meant to move across the country…guess what?

I would have never done it.

If I knew now what it would take to move across the country, even though it has been great and I’ve learned so much, guess what?

I wouldn’t have the guts to do it.

It’s a lot of work when you list out every single thing I had to do and still have to do. Yes, the process is still ongoing a year and a half later.

But when you just think: “Today, I need a bed,” things tend to clear up quickly. Priorities, people, priorities. So even now, when stressed, I try to say this to myself:

“Nina, you need a bed.”

So that, my friends, is the story of my bed.

Love and all that,

P.S. Obviously a major point, in case you missed it, is that it takes a village. My mom and dad were amazing, each in their own unique ways. My nonna and aunt were incredible (more on them and the move later). And I’m blessed to have an extra person in my corner of the village, my stepmom.

The Truth about Adventures: Mortification.

November 27, 2013 -

The night before my first day AT THE JOB I MOVED TO SF FOR, I moved into my sublease, a little pinterest world, decorated by an artist who was spending the summer in Belgium with her boyfriend. I didn’t even have time to unpack. I brought my clothes for the first day into the shower (which I could not get to work which lead to a frantic call to Mom) to steam them and then went to sleep, my route for the next day programmed into my iPhone and my alarm clock set extra early so I could not miss the trolley that would take me to my first day at my new job.

You know what they say about good intentions, right?

photo by lis…crazed expression by me

It didn’t matter that I woke early. I still ran to the trolley, missed it, and had to wait the “seven minutes” (this is a lie; it takes longer than that) for the next one. I hopped on, paid my singles (has to be singles, here) and sat next to a dog. For real.

Here is the thing: trolleys? They don’t move fast. In fact, when they move fast they automatically disconnect from the line. When I lived in that sublease there was one trolley driver who, I am not kidding, every single day, disconnected at least twice from one stop to the next.

I watched the clock on my phone nervously. Then I made a bold (dumb?) move. I jumped out one stop early and ran and ran. Yes, ran. Several blocks, in fact, so I would not be late to my first day at this new job. If you know, or if you have been reading my blog, you know I am a bit of a perfectionist. I still have dreams from HIGH SCHOOL where I forget my homework. Being late on the first day of a new job? Definitely at the top of my my most mortifying moments.

So I ran. I was sweating. I hit the elevator button a million times and by the time I reached my floor, my training class was already somewhere else. (Insert rising mortification.) Someone had to take me to them. It was a room filled with about twenty guys and one girl who looked at me with desperation in her eyes, as if I was her holy grail. (Let’s be honest, us girls have got to stick together and Lis–that’s right; it was Lis–did not want to be in a class full of guys for two weeks).

I realized with my sweaty face, my hair ruined, that I had two choices. I could sink to the floor in mortification or better yet slip out the door never to be seen again. I could call my parents and cry. Or I could do this: I could walk to my empty seat, apologize, laugh it off, and explain I’ve only been in the city for a week and make my morning adventure funny. Oh, look at that funny girl from Chicago with that funny accent. She is a bit sweaty but hahaha! I could meet Lis’ eye across the room and smile. I could get my work face on and I could do it.

Here is one more truth about adventures: there will be moments where life does not go anywhere near to plan. There will be moments of extreme mortification. But you always have the choice whether to choose mortification or choose adventure. In my life, I’ve done both. But that first day of work, I chose adventure and have not looked back.

Choose Adventure,

The Truth About Adventures.

October 4, 2013 -

Here’s the truth: I am not that brave; I just didn’t have time to think it through.

Honestly.

Sometimes you leap. A lot of adventures start that way. I leapt.

Here is the truth about life’s adventures. At least in my own experience thus far.

4. There are all types of adventures. Never belittle a fellow adventurer. Or yourself. I’m not married and I don’t have kids. Do I want those things? Yes. But in God’s perfect timing, if I had them at 24, I would never have fallen in love with the city of San Francisco. Still, I have friends that are married with kids. I don’t think they are “tied down” and I am “free.” I truly believe, after this last year and a half, that there are all types of adventures. Some workout and some don’t. Sometimes life’s circumstances actually make it easier or harder for a particular adventure to take place. But you know what mom said: until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes, no judgement. Honestly, I think motherhood will someday be a great adventure. Some of my friends already are on that adventure. And I am sure some of them (well, I am sure since they told me) love their kids but wish they had one last, stellar, solo adventure for the record books, to get to know themselves better. But we are co-adventurers. Get it? Got it? Good.

5. Homesickness is real thing. I’ve always been extremely independent. I don’t think it surprised people who knew me that I could leave. It’s strange, though. I miss family and friends in waves. Sometimes it is particularly poignant. And other times, I don’t really think about it. But I have to leave you with this. Right now, my little sister, with over twenty years and a country between us, is obsessed with the Wizard of Oz. Obsessed.

So yes, by all means, be adventurers! I just want to be honest about mine.

XO,

Search Results for: the truth about adventures

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