I emailed my bridesmaids a quick check in because I needed numbers for hair and makeup and one of them wrote back, “You’re so on top of planning!” and I actually started laughing aloud all by myself. I remember when I was a senior in high school and the go-to question was: where are you going to school next year? Now, since the engagement, the question is most definitely, “How is the wedding planning going?”
I have a different answer every time. Or rather, I have a different answer every time but I don’t always share that answer. Because a lot of my angst comes from how expensive everything is just because it is for a wedding. If this was just a party, the food, the drinks, the music, everything would not have, what I call, the wedding surcharge. And speaking of this budget angst, am I really going to complain when people have been very generous to me? And furthermore, I refuse to complain about wedding planning because the truth is C and I decided to get married. We also decided not to elope and have a wedding instead. We also get to plan a wedding. Like, what? Am I supposed to complain that I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?
And yet, I do not love wedding planning (I think I would love it more if it wasn’t my wedding). It isn’t my forte to organize something like this. I am not good at numbers so being in charge of budgets hurts my head. Logistics aren’t my forte. And I am not good at getting out of my own way and being objective about an event I am partly in charge of. But I am trying to be good at these things. I am trying not to complain. And to be very honest with you, I think most people who know me well would say I’ve been a lot more low key than expected. I know I expected me to be a lot more high strung than I am.
Basically, I approach one thing at a time and just try to cross it off the list. Sometimes it goes smoothly and sometimes it doesn’t. So far, I’ve had two real panicky moments which I am going to mark as a win. What does feel weird is writing these checks for a day in March. I just want to fast forward the next six months and be walking down the aisle toward C.
If anyone has any tips for planning a wedding, I will take them.
All my love.