Hey, there. I’m stopping by this place for two reasons. One, I’ve missed it (and all of you) and two, I just had to pay for my hosting and had to make a major decision. Was I ready to quit blogging completely? The answer was no. So I am dipping my toe in. I just want to update you on what’s been going on with me.
I’ve been writing full time which is both super rewarding and also a major hustle. I think that’s one reason this space has been kind of vacant because for so long it was an outlet. And now I am doing the thing I love. But I have realized no matter how much freelancing writing I do, there are some creative parts of blogging (and the community!) that can’t be replaced. And so I decided I just can’t quit you yet.
My building was bought by someone new which forced me to move again. Yeahhhhh. Maybe you’re glad I wasn’t blogging regularly during that time because how many times have y’all heard me complain about moving (many times because I’ve moved many times and it is always the worst). But I am still in Chicago.
I’m in a serious relationship. Surprise! Around this time last year (actually, exactly around this time) my old roomie and bestie forced me to get out there and start dating which I did with gusto. I learned a lot. I even wrote a bit about dating during the election for HelloGiggles. Post election, I was seeing someone kind of regularly…in that we were talking but he lived out of state. He did come visit and it was great. Except it was the weekend after the election and what I had seen as mostly minor political differences before suddenly could not be ignored. I was just…I couldn’t.
A bit later, I was on a random app that a girl at church recommended (Coffee Meets Bagel…honestly I love that app, especially if you are in a city. I also wrote a review about all the apps/sites I tried here). One of the first guys on there asked to see me that night. He will be called C.
I didn’t want to go. I’m not good at being spontaneous because of my chronic illness. But my roomie/bestie pushed me. And I went. And it was really good. As were our subsequent dates. Then my grandmother fell.
My mom actually moved to take care of my grandparents (my papa passed away two and a half years ago). The only way to get there is either a six-hour drive or an hour flight and then a two-hour car ride. It wasn’t the easiest. But as soon as she fell my bestie/roomie insisted that she make the drive so I could see her. I will forever be grateful for that because I was able to tell her I loved her and talk to her when she was lucid (though she had a very serious brain bleed). Even writing it, it’s hard to fathom that the next morning I left with my friend to go back to Chicago and Granny went into surgery. She never fully woke up again. There was a lot of back and forth and it was just a really hard time. I cannot emphasize how indebted I am to my roomie for driving and insisting I go.
I’m not going to linger on this topic because, honestly, it’s hard. So, please don’t take me skipping around as being flippant.
While all this was going on, C and I had just started seeing one another exclusively. Wow. Talk about a lot for the beginning of a relationship. Because we all know it’s not just losing someone – that’s hard enough – there is other baggage that comes out of the woodwork. And so.
But God has been faithful and good both to me (and us) and also my family. The last couple months (including moving) have been some of the most difficult and rewarding. In that time, I also fostered C’s puppy. We went to Austin to visit his aunt and uncle. I was published in my dream publication. Somehow winter turned to spring here in Chicago which is always one of the best times of the year.
And here we are.
This past year has been full. And that’s one reason I wasn’t here either I suppose. But I also know now that I don’t want to stay away anymore. And so I’ll see you tomorrow. Yes, really.
(follow me on IG/ twitter: @nbwearsflowers)