It’s not a song. It’s a list.
Things I am letting go of:
-perfection for this DIY project
-everything in the non-urgent, non-important category (for now)
-cut down the number of books I’m reading to 3 (10 is just too much)
-the over organization (my zeal for this change to an organized life has me focused on the minutia instead of the overall organization of my life in general)
-the lists (there is no need for the same list, multiple times, in my bullet journal, and in various places on my computer and online)
-this list because I could go on and on
Here is the thing. Throughout my life, when my anxiety is higher, I find small things to focus on–like a chimp picking fleas from her baby’s head. That truly would be the perfect task for moments like this. And also, throughout my life, these small tasks have ranged from healthy to the not so healthy.
I can gauge my anxiety which stems from fear and lack of control by the extent of these tiny obsessions. How long did I work to make straight lines on an upcoming DIY project? So long that it was a wakeup call and that was with painter’s tape. It’s not always like this. It’s actually been awhile since it has been like this. It’s hard to know when I am just battling perfectionism (which still should be battled) and anxiety.
Finding the root is the key but it’s easier said than done. I have to find activities after work that are soothing, like coloring (kind of dumb but I channel it into sending snail mail…) or journaling or writing. Since I work from home freelancing, I have to get out of my little world (when not working or taking my work to a coffee shop) and make my world big again.