Let it Go | Awareness of my Anxiety.

It’s not a song. It’s a list.

Things I am letting go of:
-perfection for this DIY project
-everything in the non-urgent, non-important category (for now)
-cut down the number of books I’m reading to 3 (10 is just too much)
-the over organization (my zeal for this change to an organized life has me focused on the minutia instead of the overall organization of my life in general)
-the lists (there is no need for the same list, multiple times, in my bullet journal, and in various places on my computer and online)
-this list because I could go on and on

Here is the thing. Throughout my life, when my anxiety is higher, I find small things to focus on–like a chimp picking fleas from her baby’s head. That truly would be the perfect task for moments like this. And also, throughout my life, these small tasks have ranged from healthy to the not so healthy.

globeI’ve realized something so important when it comes to the awareness of my anxiety. When the world feels big and out of control, I do what I can to make it feel small.

I can gauge my anxiety which stems from fear and lack of control by the extent of these tiny obsessions. How long did I work to make straight lines on an upcoming DIY project? So long that it was a wakeup call and that was with painter’s tape. It’s not always like this. It’s actually been awhile since it has been like this. It’s hard to know when I am just battling perfectionism (which still should be battled) and anxiety.

Finding the root is the key but it’s easier said than done. I have to find activities after work that are soothing, like coloring (kind of dumb but I channel it into sending snail mail…) or journaling or writing. Since I work from home freelancing, I have to get out of my little world (when not working or taking my work to a coffee shop) and make my world big again.

IMG_4558_1024No idea where I found that picture of me but I’m letting it go.

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28 thoughts on “Let it Go | Awareness of my Anxiety.

  1. Katie Elizabeth

    I am just beyond impressed that you can even read 3 books at one time, let alone 10! But I feel like recognizing your anxiety and the stressors (is that a word?) that cause it is the best thing. You’re on the right track, hoping things get better for ya soon!

  2. Mia @ MakeMeUpMia

    Oh girl, how I can relate. Knowing what causes the anxiety and cutting it out has helped tremendously for me! Friends (the show) & yoga are 2 things I’ve been using that are helping me πŸ™‚ Relaxing your body & mind is so important isn’t it. I’ve seen a few people lately talking about the adult coloring books and how they’ve enjoyed them while relaxing, I’m totally going to get one to try it out. I love coloring! Take care friend XO

  3. Meagan

    Love this, and that picture πŸ™‚ Realizing what is causing you stress and letting it go is a great first step! I wish I could do it myself…. (baby steps)

  4. Amanda

    Love this! I love that you are letting go of multiple lists of the same thing. I need to take your advice! I love love love coloring too! I never thought to send them as snail mail, but need to start doing this. Have a great day!!

  5. La Tache

    I know you know this, but sometimes it is easier said than done. When I get anxious, I feel like my chest is closing and I can’t breathe, so I do what I can to think positive affirmations and breathe through it. Again, all of the things everyone will advise are easier said than done, but it’s another tool for your tool chest πŸ˜‰

    1. Nina Post author

      So much truth that it is easier said than done. For me though, the first step is recognizing it. I can’t even try to do anything until then. Breathing is never over rated!!

  6. Trish

    Anxiety has been a big thing in my life over the past 4 years. Going from never experiencing it to full on anxiety/panic attacks was very scary. I have sat in a room doing very tedious things to help with it and trying to push out the world and I know that doesn’t help either. I’m glad you are finding ways to help sooth and make it better even if it’s just a little.

  7. Annie Demczak

    Nina, I adore your self-awareness. I tend to do the same thing. I make lists upon lists upon lists until my heart feels like I have an ounce of control back. It’s so good to let things go.

    1. Nina Post author

      I think that is it. When there are so many things, more lists is about me trying to get that control back but it’s useless and I end up more stressed. Like most things, lists are best in moderation… πŸ˜‰

  8. Anne

    I love the idea of using a list. Seeing things in writing that know induce anxiety and being able to cross them off would help you take ownership and control of those things (at least it would for me!). By the way, I am so happy there are adult coloring books…you nailed it on the head…coloring to me is so soothing. Always has been! Zoning out, creating and getting something pretty in the end (especially since I have no drawing skills!)? Yes please!!

  9. Emily

    Proud of you for choosing to let it go. (And you know I’m loving that last picture… hilarious.) It’s so easy to say YES to thing after thing… sometimes because they’re all really fun things, other times I think it’s because I just get so used to that thing, but in the end – one can only handle so many things. (Coloring is ALWAYS my go-to when I feel anxiety.)

    1. Nina Post author

      So true. And glad someone can relate to the coloring! I’ll have to send you some snail mail coloring!

  10. Diana

    I’m very much like you. I’m a perfectionist and have anxiety and when the world feels just too big to handle, I get all tied up in the tiny details. I’ve been there too, trying to fiddle with some tiny detail until it drives me batty. It turns into me losing it over so many different things completely unrelated to the detail I was trying to control in the first place.

    Wonderful post, really made me think about how I handle my stress and anxiety.

    1. Nina Post author

      That’s very much how I handle things sometimes. I get so granular and it is a big wake up call that I have strayed away from all the things that help me cope.

  11. Amy

    I can relate to so much of this. When my anxiety takes over, I have to figure out how to somehow get outside of myself and look at the people, needs, world around me. A good reminder that it’s not all about me is usually just what I need.

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